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Really, what do you feel the issues between black men and women are?

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1 Response to Sista-to-Sista: Issues Between Black Men and Women

Anonymous
11:39 PM

"Issues Between Black Men and Women" are not easy to discuss and tackle.
Well, first let me say that the issues are derived from the past. Much of it stems from slavery and the stripping of dignity from the black male after slavery and into the civil rights. Another aspect of that loss of dignity is from the experience of black women as well. We went through a time where the black woman was marked as ugly and Aunt Jamama. We were portrayed as big, dark, loud, and ugly. So, this type of portrayal of the black woman and the degrating and negative images that were on T.V. of black males took away our sense of pride and love of ourselves.
This history adds to the complicated issues of the love we receive from our brothers. Black men either struggle to love sisters who don't love themselves or who don't know how to love their men, or we have black men who see the black woman as not beautiful or gentle. She is rough to him and beastly just like the images TV used to portray her as.
Thus, black women too have an image of black men who are not wealthy as failures and unworthy. As black women educate themselves, we feel limited in our choices for men. If he does not have a similar career, some of us feel that we will not be able to get the support we need because media tries to show how poor and irresponsible the black man is instead of flaunting his positive and inventive abilities.
All in all, we have begun to believe in these images that have been portrayed to us. Some of our grandmothers and parents have also passed on this type of thinking that black men are no good and black women only want one thing from you or that she is worthless and loose as the media shows us.
We have taken these images and past steriotypes to heart without even knowing it. So, we are in a state of peril. We think that we have passed the stages of self hate, but we have not learned to be responsible for the images that we send through video and or music. Black men and women have began to give up on each other, and we all don't seem to find common ground. We deny each other's pain in this society and choose to assimilate as well as disapear into other cultures. We deny that we have a problem with each other. Do we know how to love each other? If he does have a job, and it is a blue collar one, is that acceptable? If she has three children, are you ready to father them and love her, or do you feel she should be on her own because she has no room for you with the kids?
We still don't feel that we are worth the sacrafice. We don't love each other the way we should. We do not try to understand each other's pain. Black men and women still don't know the beauty and value of each other. Others can see it, but for some reason unless we look like the other culture, we still don't accept each other as beautiful, worthy, and intellegent.

Please know that this does not apply to everyone. I am only mentioning a few of the things that I feel are apart of the the issues.
Thank you and peace

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